Latest Jokes

I got into an argument with this thug in a pub. I backed away, but as I was leaving he shouted, “I know where you live!”

I was really worried for a while, but it turned out he works for Royal Mail Parcelforce, so his threat almost certainly isn’t true.

What do you call a mean mother hen?

An egg beater.

"I can’t kill the mosquito who bit me and sucked my blood."

"Why Not?"

"Because we’re related by blood now!"

Where would you find a doctor whose job it is to declare a person dead?

At the coroner store.