Pro tip: if you add coconut oil to your kale...
It makes it easier to scrape it into the trash.
A baby polar bear goes up to his dad and asks, "Dad, am I pure polar bear?"
The dad replies, "Sure you are son. I'm all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, your mom is all polar bear, and her parents are all polar bear."
Still unsure the baby polar bear goes to his mom and asks, "Mom, am I pure polar bear?"
She answers, "Of course you are honey. I'm all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear."
Still not convinced the baby polar bear goes to his grandparents and asks, "Grandmom... Grandpop... am I all polar bear?"
His grandmother answers, "Of course you are sweetie. We're all polar bear, your mother is all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear. Why do you ask sweetie?"
The baby polar bear replies, "Because I'm FREEEEEZING!"
Studies have shown that married men live longer than single men...
So if you want a longer life, and a slower death, just get married.
A neighbor went to visit her friend Brenda and her 4 year old daughter Maggie.
"What have you been doing today?" she asked.
"Just a little housework," replied Brenda.
"Are you too exhausted for my visit"? the neighbor replied.
"No, not at all. I was just cleaning the inside of Maggie's dollhouse."