Latest Jokes

Husband: "My shaving brush is very stiff now. I wonder what is wrong with it?"

Wife: "I don't know. It was nice and soft when I painted the bird cage yesterday."

When Sammy, the male sheep, lost his mate to old age, the flock asked him to say a few sentimental words.

He took a big breath, opened his mouth, and sang, "There will never ever be another ewe..."

A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands.

"Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?"

"I don't see why not," replies the doctor.

"That's great!" says the man. "Because I wasn't able to play it before."

Management vs. Solutions...

After moving into our new office space, I was given the job of completing an Occupational Health and Safety report about the building. I discovered that the building had been built with no fire exit!

If a fire starts at the entrance, the only way out would be to smash through the manager's office window. So I put these comments down and submitted my report to the manager before it got sent to head office.

In all seriousness, he added the following comment to the head office about smashing the window: "Please confirm that this is an acceptable option by returning your approval."