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Favorite this joke A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basic items. "How much do you weigh?" she asks.
"120," the woman says. The nurse puts her on the scale. It turns out her weight is 150.
The nurse asks, "Your height?"
"5 feet, 8 inches," she says. The nurse checks and sees that she measures only 5 feet, 5 inches.
She then takes her blood pressure and tells the woman it is very high.
"Of course it's high!" she screams. "When I came in here, I was tall and slender, and now I'm short and fat!"
Why do clowns hold books they read very close to their faces?
So their noses are well red!
The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her husband. "I've been insulted," she sobbed. "Your mother insulted me."
"My mother!" he exclaimed. "Did she call you?"
"No, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it."
He looked stern, "I see, and where does the insult come in?"
"In the P.S.," she answered. "It said, 'Dear Alice, don't forget to give this letter to George.'"
"When is it bad luck to see a black cat?"
"When you're a mouse???"
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