Latest Jokes

Professor (picking on a sleepy student): "Name two pronouns."

Student (yawning): "Who? Me?"

Professor: "Very good, and here I thought you were inattentive."

Husband: "My shaving brush is very stiff now. I wonder what is wrong with it?"

Wife: "I don't know. It was nice and soft when I painted the bird cage yesterday."

When Sammy, the male sheep, lost his mate to old age, the flock asked him to say a few sentimental words.

He took a big breath, opened his mouth, and sang, "There will never ever be another ewe..."

A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands.

"Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?"

"I don't see why not," replies the doctor.

"That's great!" says the man. "Because I wasn't able to play it before."