Latest Jokes

A husband died. A few weeks later the wife died. As she got to heaven she saw her husband. She ran up to him with tears in her eyes.

"Darling, how I've missed you!"

The husband extends his arms stopping her from embracing him and says, "Whoa there woman, the contract was until death!"

A man walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk.

"Well they feel a bit tight," replies the man.

The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and at the man's feet. "Try pulling the tongue out," the clerk says.

"Well, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth."