Latest Jokes

Q: If you are in a dark room with a candle, a wood stove, a match, and a gas lamp which do you light first?

A: Why that is easy, the match of course.

Three comedians are shooting the breeze in the dressing room of a nightclub after a late gig. They've heard one another’s material so much that they've reached the point where they don’t need to say the jokes anymore to amuse each other, they just need to refer to each joke by a number.

“Number 37!” cracks the first comic, and the others break up.

“Number 53!” says the second person, and they howl.

Finally, it’s the third comic’s turn. “44!” he quips. He gets nothing. Crickets.

“What?” he asks, “Isn't 44 funny?”

“Sure, it’s usually hilarious,” they answer. “But the way you tell it…”

A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter "R" and all the other kids were, of course, teasing him about it.

To help him out, the teacher gave him a sentence to practice at home: "Robert gave Richard a rap in the ribs for roasting the rabbit so rare."

In class a few days later, the teacher asked the boy to recite the sentence out loud.

The boy nervously eyed his classmates - many of them already laughing - then replied, "Bob gave Dick a poke in the side because the bunny wasn't cooked enough."