Latest Jokes
Favorite this joke Jack: “I am a master of fast calculations.”
Jenny: “Okay, what is 758 times 642, divided by 5?”
Jack: “22!”
Jenny: “Ha-ha, that’s wrong!”
Jack: “I said I was fast, I didn't say anything about accurate!”
The Sunday after Christmas, the Sunday School teacher told her students about an angel appearing to Joseph in a dream, warning him about danger to the baby Jesus and telling him how to escape from it.
After the story time, the students were given an opportunity to draw a picture about the story. Most of the pictures were predictable, but Johnny's had an odd element in it. "Johnny," began the teacher, "I see Joseph and Mary with the baby Jesus on a donkey, but what is that following the donkey?
"It's the flea, teacher."
"What flea?" she asked.
The boy faithfully replied, "The Bible verse says, 'Take Mary and Jesus and flea to Egypt.' So there's Mary, there's Jesus, and there's the flea."
There was a university in New England where the students operated a "bank" of term papers and other homework assignments. There were papers to suit all needs. You had your choice of papers for an A-grade, B-grade, and C-grade.
A student who had spent the weekend on pursuits other than her assignment, went to the bank and took out a paper for a C-grade. She went home, retyped it, and handed it in.
In due time she received it back with the grade of an 'A'. The professor left the following comment, "I wrote this paper myself twenty years ago. I always thought it should have received an A, so now I am glad to give it one."
A man arrives at the repair shop to pick-up his watch.
Clerk: "I haven't finished repairing it yet. just give me a few more minutes.
Man: "Sure, no problem."
The man goes and stands right next to the clerk, who notices him but continues working. After a while, he can't take it anymore.
Clerk: "Why are you sticking so close to me?"
Man: "I'm only doing what the sign outside your door says."
Clerk: "And what is that, may I ask?"
Man: "It says, 'Watch Repairs.'"
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