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Favorite this joke I got angry with the mime that lived next door to me.
To get even I played a blank CD over and over.
That drove him crazy.
When the wise company president learned that his employees were tanking up on no-trace vodka martinis during their lunch hours, he issued the following memo:
To all employees: If you must drink during you lunch hours, please drink whiskey. It is better for our customers to know you're drunk than to think you're stupid.
A man asks his wife, "What would you do if I won the lottery?"
His wife says, "Take half and leave you."
The man replies, "Great! I won 12 bucks, here is six, now get out!"
A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and knocked at the door. A very old woman answered the door, and he asked her for directions.
"Don't know how to get there," the woman said. He got back in his car and pulled away.
Then he heard voices. He looked in his rearview mirror and saw the woman and an equally old man waving for him to come back. So he made a U-turn and drove up to them.
"This is my husband," the old woman said. "He doesn't know how to get there either."
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