Latest Jokes

How do you compliment...

The Abominable Snowman?
Tell him he’s cool.

A secretary?
Tell her she’s really neat.

A boxer?
Tell him he’s a knock-out.

A surfer?
Tell her she’s swell.

A mail carrier?
Tell him he’s first class.

A demolition crew?
Tell them they did a bang-up job.

A witch?
Tell her she’s charming.

An astronaut?
Tell her she’s out of this world.

A right fielder?
Tell him he’s far-out.

Frankenstein?
Tell him he looks like a new man.

A culinary student was learning to make a proper gravy.

His teacher asked, "Did you start with a roux?"

"No, too time consuming," replied the student.

The teacher sternly replied, "Rouxs are meant to be enforced!"

The crowded cafeteria sported a large sign reading: "Watch Your Hat and Overcoat."

Meyer did. He kept turning every minute, almost choking over his food. His pal, Moshe, kept on eating, without thought of his own coat on the hook. Finally Moshe said, "You, dope, stop watching our overcoats."

"I'm only watching mine," replied Meyer. "Yours has been gone for over half an hour."

A man was very much in love with a woman. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life.

That evening he ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning. As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet.

The fellow never found out what made his girlfriend so angry with him.