My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What's on TV?"
I answered, "Dust."
And then the fight started.
Wife: "I wish I were Juliet, and I had a Romeo..."
Husband: "If you would have been Juliet, I don't think Romeo would've chosen to die."
Four young ladies are ordering a few rounds of drinks. Each time they get up, they toast and say, "14 weeks!", then they down their drinks.
The bartender finally asks the ladies, "What's the deal?"
One says, "Well, we bought a boxed puzzle. It said 'two to six years,' and we did it in 14 weeks!"