I like playing golf but it is a hard game to explain.

One day I'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit half the traps and miss most of the greens.

Then then next day I'll go out and for no reason at all, really stink up the course!

Sally told her boyfriend that she wanted to walk down the aisle...

So he agreed, and took her grocery shopping.

How can you identify a blind pirate?

He's the one with patches over both eyes.

"Mary, if you were a four legged animal and you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?"

"I don't know," said Mary, "but whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark."