Latest Jokes

1 votes

A woman had been selling waterbeds for almost four years, and thought she had heard every question imaginable. But then a customer asked, "Can you deliver it filled with water?"

Stunned, the woman replied, "Are you kidding? It would weigh over twelve hundred pounds!"

After a short pause, the customer responded, "Could you do it if I helped you carry it in?"

1 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
$7.00 won 2 votes

Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What's your excuse?"

Patient: "I was just following your orders, Doc."

Doctor: "Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order."

Patient: "You told me to avoid people who irritate me."

2 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
0 votes

An old guy walks into a bar and the bartender asks for ID. "You've got to be kidding," he said. "I'm almost 60 years old!"

The bartender apologized, but said he had to see the license. The guy showed his ID, then paid and told the bartender to keep the change. "The tip's for carding me," he said.

The bartender put the change in the tip cup. "Thanks," he said. "Works every time."

0 votes

posted by "shanny33" |
0 votes

The Sheriff's girl friend constantly asked the Sheriff to get married.

Girl: Please, marry me?
Sheriff: I can't. I have to go catch the bank robbers.

Girl: Please, marry me?
Sheriff: I can't. I have to go catch the rustlers.

Girl: Please, let's get married?
Sheriff: I can't I have to go catch those who held up the train.

Moral of the story: Some men would rather fight outlaws than in-laws!

0 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Ronald Haycock" |