Latest Jokes

A man goes to a doctor and says, “Doctor, I have a very serious problem. I only hear half of everything.”

"That can’t be," answers the doctor. “Either you can hear everything or you hear nothing. Tell you what, Let us see. Repeat after me... Ninety Six.”

The man quickly replies, “Forty eight!”

Last night I was relaxing on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen: "Oh sweetheart, what would you like for dinner, my love? Chicken, beef or lamb?"

I said, "Thank you, darling. I think I'll have chicken."

She replied, "You're havin' a peanut butter sandwich. I was talkin' to the dog!"

If memory serves me right...

Well, it would be the first time.

What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies?

"Should we walk home or take a dog?"