Latest Jokes
Favorite this joke Mom: Why did you decide to study earthquakes?
Tom: I just cracked up!
Sammy: Why did you steal that broom?
Tammy: I flew off the handle!
Nan: Why did you knock over the Chinese Checkers?
Dan: I lost my marbles!
Jenny: Why did you chase that squirrel?
Lenny: I went nuts!
Jon: Why did you throw all those baseballs?
Ron: I pitched a fit!
Kay: Why did you burn the pancakes?
Jay: I flipped out!
Jerry: Why did you jump in the pool?
Terry: I went off the deep end!
A PhD student, a post-doc, and their professor are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.
The Genie says, “I usually only grant three wishes, so I’ll give each of you just one.”
“Me first! Me first!” says the PhD student.
“I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with a gorgeous woman.”
Poof! He’s gone.
“Me next! Me next!” says the post-doc. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other.”
Poof! He’s gone.
“You’re next,” the Genie says to the professor.
The professor says, “I want those guys back in the lab after lunch.”
Little Emily was at her first wedding and gaped at the entire ceremony. When it was over, she asked her mother, "Why did the lady change her mind?"
Her mother asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, she went down the aisle with one man and came back with another one."
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him. “Why do we have to learn this stuff?” one young man blurted out.
“To save lives,” the professor responded.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?”
The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word. Finally, the professor continued, “Physics saves lives because it keeps certain people out of medical school.”
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