Latest Jokes

A kid called up his mom from his college and asked her for some money, because he ran out of it. His mom said, "Sure, sweetie. I'll will send you some money. You also left your calculus book here when you visited 2 weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?"

"Uhh, oh yeah, okay," responded the kid. So his mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package and went to the post office to mail the money and the book.

When she gets back, her husband asked, "Well how much did you give the boy this time?"

She said, "Oh, I wrote two checks, one for $20 and the other for $1000 out to him."

"That's $1020!" yelled her husband. "Are you crazy?"

"Don't worry, Hon," she said. "I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 19!"

Palmist to Man: "By looking at the lines in your palm, someone very near to you is going to get disappointed."

Man: "Wow, you are good! For you will be disappointed to know that I forgot my wallet in the house."

Little Johnny: "Mommy! Mommy! I keep running around in circles!"

Mommy: "Be quiet or I'll super glue your other shoe to the floor too!"

I reluctantly went shopping with my wife so she could buy a new dress. She tried on several but they didn't fit.

As she came out of the fitting room totally frustrated she remarked, "Nothing my size fits me anymore."