Latest Jokes

Paddy hates his wife's cat so much he drives it to the next town and dumps it there. When he gets home, the cat was there.

The next day he drives it 50 miles out and leaves it. When he gets home, it's there again. So the next day he drives it to the other side of the county, some 150 miles away, and tries again.

Six hours later he calls his wife and asks, "IS THAT DARN CAT HOME?"

"Yes, why?" asks the wife.

Paddy says, "PUT THE DARN CAT ON THE PHONE, I'M LOST!!!"

He was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years, having attended class reunions in the past without fail. This 60th anniversary of their class, they had a wonderful evening, both of them throwing admiring glances across the table. Finally, he picked up courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?"

After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes, yes I will!"

The evening ended on a happy note for the widower. But the next morning he was troubled. Did she say "Yes" or did she say "No"? He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. He remembered asking the question but for the life of him he could not recall her response. With fear he picked up the phone and called her. "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"

She replied, "Why you silly man, I said 'Yes, yes I will!' And I am so glad you called, because I couldn't remember who asked me!"

A student writes his answers as:
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Below it he then writes: Answers are written in barcode to protect them from being copied.