Latest Jokes

Did you hear about the kidnapping at the laundromat?

He woke up an hour ago.

The commander of an army base had assembled all his troops for an exercise in combat. He told his troops.."When I give the order... fire at will!"

Just then one of the soldiers was seen running away. The commander barked out, "Who is that guy running away?"

"That's Will, sir!"

A science teacher tells his class, "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773."

A not so bright student responds, "Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it."

A kid called up his mom from his college and asked her for some money, because he ran out of it. His mom said, "Sure, sweetie. I'll will send you some money. You also left your calculus book here when you visited 2 weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?"

"Uhh, oh yeah, okay," responded the kid. So his mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package and went to the post office to mail the money and the book.

When she gets back, her husband asked, "Well how much did you give the boy this time?"

She said, "Oh, I wrote two checks, one for $20 and the other for $1000 out to him."

"That's $1020!" yelled her husband. "Are you crazy?"

"Don't worry, Hon," she said. "I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 19!"