Latest Jokes

Q: What kind of rocks are on the bottom of the Mississippi River?

A: Wet rocks.

Dressing to go for a party, the husband says, ”My suit looks very shabby, and not appealing."

His wife replies, being supportive of course, "Don't worry about it, no one is going to be looking at you anyway."

An accountant is in a car traveling with a farmer client around his farm. They pass a large group of sheep and the farmer says, "You're pretty good with numbers, Keith. How many sheep do you reckon are in that paddock?"

The accountant looks at the sheep for a moment and says, "One thousand, eight hundred and thirty two."

The farmer is amazed. "Exactly right," he says. "How did you work that out so fast?"

"Easy," says the accountant, "I counted the number of feet and divided by four."

Walking thru the mall past the vision center, I told my wife, "Ignore the store to your left, it's not really there... it's an optical illusion."