Latest Jokes

The police just pulled me over, he came up to my window and said, “Papers?”

I replied, “Scissors, I win” and drove off.

I think he wants a re-match because he’s been following me for 45 minutes.

A construction worker accidentally cuts off one of his ears with an electric saw. He calls out to a guy walking on the street below, "Hey, do you see my ear down there?"

The guy on the street picks up an ear and yells back, "Is this it?"

"No," replies the construction worker. "Mine had a pencil behind it!"

Brandon: "Why did the doughnut go to the dentist?"

Kaleb: "I don't know, tell me."

Brandon: "He needed a filling!"

Robert to Doctor: “Doctor, I have a serious problem. I dream of football matches every night."

Doctor: "Don’t worry. I will cure it right now. Take this pill and you will be alright.”

Robert: "Doctor, would it be okay to wait and take the pill tomorrow?”

Doctor: “Why?”

Robert: “Doc, today is the final match. I have to see the season through and know which team is going to win it all!”