Latest Jokes

1 votes

An accountant is in a car traveling with a farmer client around his farm. They pass a large group of sheep and the farmer says, "You're pretty good with numbers, Keith. How many sheep do you reckon are in that paddock?"

The accountant looks at the sheep for a moment and says, "One thousand, eight hundred and thirty two."

The farmer is amazed. "Exactly right," he says. "How did you work that out so fast?"

"Easy," says the accountant, "I counted the number of feet and divided by four."

1 votes

CATEGORY Farmer Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
0 votes

Walking thru the mall past the vision center, I told my wife, "Ignore the store to your left, it's not really there... it's an optical illusion."

0 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Bridude" |
0 votes

I hate the idea of going under the knife. So I was very upset when the doctor told me I needed a tonsillectomy. Later, the nurse and I were filling out an admission form. I tried to respond to the questions, but I was so nervous I couldn't speak.

The nurse patted my hand and said, "Don't worry. This medical problem can easily be fixed, and it's not a dangerous procedure."

"You're right. I'm being silly," I said, "please continue."

"Good," the nurse went on, "Now, do you have a living will?"

0 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
0 votes

A rousing game of “Red Light, Green Light” got wild when my toddler yelled “Green Arrow!”

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CATEGORY Kid Jokes
posted by "Murray" |