Latest Jokes

A young hiker is traveling thru a heavily wooded area and comes upon a Monastery full of friars and monks. He knocks on the door for directions, however is invited inside for "Fish and Chips" for lunch.

After lunch he exclaimed that this was the most delicious fish and chips he had ever eaten. Seeing a chef emerge from the kitchen, he raced over and said, "Are you the Fish Friar?

To which the reply was, "No, I am the Chip Monk."

If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono...
If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali...

If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, she'd be Cat Doggy Dogg...
If Sandra Locke married Elliott Ness, divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she would become Sondra Locke Ness Munster...
If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting...

If Ivana Trump married Orson Bean, King Oscar, Louis Mayer, Norbert Wiener, the she'd be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener...

And, if Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced and married Gregory Peck, Divorced him for Ben Hur, he'd be Woody Wood Peck Hur!!!

A local priest was visiting a widow for Sunday dinner. Afterwards, she was doing the dishes and he was looking around and noticed a parrot in a cage.

The lady noticed and said, "Reach into the cage, father, and pull his left leg." Well, he did and the parrot recited the Our Father.

"Pull his right leg," she said. He did and the parrot recited the Hail Mary. Well, the priest thought this was amazing. Then he said out loud, "I wonder what would happen if I pulled both legs and the same time?"

The parrot said, "What do you think will happen, I'll fall flat on my butt!"