Latest Jokes

Two men were strolling past a church when one commented to his friend, "Aren't the church bells lovely?"

The friend said he didn't make out what was said so the first man repeated, "Aren't those chimes beautiful?"

Again, his friend exclaimed he couldn't make out what was said so the first man repeated louder, "The bells, the bells, aren't they beautiful!"

The second man looked at him and said, "Sorry, I can't make out what you're saying because of those lousy bells!"

Two idiots were standing looking at the sun. They were arguing. One said it was the sun while the other one said it was the moon.

A third guy happened to walk by. They asked him, "What is that in the sky?"

The man simply replied, "Sorry, I can't help you. I'm not from this area."

A dog walks into a butcher shop and the butcher asks, “What do you want?” The dog points to steak in a glass case. “How many pounds?” The dog barks twice. “Anything else?” The dog points to some pork chops and barks four times.

So the butcher wraps up a two-pound steak and four pork chops, and places the bag in the dog’s mouth. He then takes money from a purse tied around the dog’s neck, and sees him out. A customer, who has been watching in amazement, follows the dog to a house several blocks away, where it rings the doorbell to be let in. As the owner appears at the door, the customer says, “What a remarkable dog!”

“Remarkable?” snorts the owner. “This is the second time this week he’s forgotten his keys.”