Latest Jokes

I hate the idea of going under the knife. So I was very upset when the doctor told me I needed a tonsillectomy. Later, the nurse and I were filling out an admission form. I tried to respond to the questions, but I was so nervous I couldn't speak.

The nurse patted my hand and said, "Don't worry. This medical problem can easily be fixed, and it's not a dangerous procedure."

"You're right. I'm being silly," I said, "please continue."

"Good," the nurse went on, "Now, do you have a living will?"

A rousing game of “Red Light, Green Light” got wild when my toddler yelled “Green Arrow!”

The surgeon approached his patient, just as he woke up from having surgery. “I'm afraid we 're going to have to operate on you again. You see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside you.”

The patient replied, “Tell you what Doc, if it’s just because of that, just leave them inside. I'd rather pay for them than have you go back in.”

Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don’t worry it will take just five minutes.

Patient: And how much will it cost?

Dentist: It’s $90.00.

Patient: $90.00 for just a few minutes work???

Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like?