Latest Jokes

10. You take your paycheck to the bank and the teller bursts out in hysterical laughter.

9. The Red Cross calls and offers you emergency assistance.

8. Your only charge cards are for the Salvation Army, ARC, and DAV thrift stores.

7. You work full time and you still qualify for food stamps.

6. You empty out your piggy bank and then cook the bank and serve it for your Easter ham.

5. All you can think about morning, noon and night is clipping grocery coupons.

4. You file your income taxes and the IRS returns them stamped, "Charity Case -- Return To Sender."

3. You set the world record for mailing $1.00 rebate requests to Young America, Minnesota.

2. You pay all your bills, put your remaining $1 bill into your billfold and it goes into shock.

1. You get arrested for taking the coins out of the fountain in the mall.

At the airport for his 9-year-old son's first big trip by himself, after checking in on the phone with Grandma and Grandpa.

Dad - "So what did Grandma say on the phone?"

Son - "She said I love you, can't wait to see you, we're going to have so much fun...and...uh...something about 'We will rot you?'"

Dad - "Do you mean 'spoil you?'"

Son - "Yes! That's the word. I couldn't find it in my brain."

Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kanobe were visiting a Chinese restaurant one day. After being brought their meals, Luke attempted to use the chopsticks, but never quite got the hang of it and kept dropping food everywhere, with utterly frustrated him.

"Do not despair, young Skywaler," Obi-Wan said. "Just use the forks."