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Favorite this joke So the doctor came in to ask me about my broken arm.
He said: “Will painkillers help?"
I said: “It wouldn't hurt.”
Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health. From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan's side. It even learned to dig for clams.
One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week. His wife answered the door, and said "He can work for you, but it will cost you $500."
"That much?" asked the man.
"But you're getting my husband and his otter," said the wife. "They bring up more clams than anyone else in town."
"But I just want Juan. I'll hire him alone for $350," the man countered.
"Sorry," she shrugged. "You can't have Juan without the otter."
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
A snake goes to the optometrist one day. "I've been having a bit of trouble with my eyesight lately," he says. "And it's been making it very difficult for me to chase and catch rats."
The optometrist then gives him an eye test and prescribes a pair of glasses; the snake then thanks the optometrist and leaves. A few months later, the snake comes back for a check up and the optometrist asks him how his new glasses have been.
"Oh, wonderful!" the snake replies happily. "I can see better than ever now and my rat catching prowess has more than doubled! However... now I'm depressed."
"Depressed?" the optometrist asks, perplexed. "Why?"
"Well, since I got them, I found out that I'd been in love with a garden hose all this time."
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