Housework can't kill you...
But why take a chance?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore.
When an eel bites your thigh and you bleed out and die, that’s a moray.
When you’re smashed with a jug in a South Auckland pub, that’s a Māori.
When you see a big boat tied up with a rope, that’s a mooring.
When you wake up and it’s bright because it’s no longer night, that’s the morning.
The day after I had surgery on my leg, a nurse came into my hospital room with a box in her hand. “Are you ready for this?”
“What is it?” I asked.
“Fleet enema. Didn’t your doctor tell you about it?”
“No.”
She rechecked the orders. “Whoa!” she bellowed. “That didn’t say Fleet enema. It said feet elevated!”
When buying an old second-hand car always insist on getting one with a heated rear window.
That way, in winter you can warm your hands while you're pushing it.