Latest Jokes

A man sees a job advert published on a building site, "Handy man wanted; apply within." The man goes to speak to the foreman and applies.

Foreman: "Can you drive a forklift truck?"

Man: "No."

Foreman: "Can you plaster?"

Man: "No."

Foreman: "Can you brick lay?"

Man: "No."

Foreman: "If you don't mind me asking, what's handy about you?"

Man: "I only live five minutes down the road."

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction...

I read to the end and say, "Well, that's not going to happen."

I tried to re-marry my ex-wife…

But she figured out I was only after my money!

A teacher gave her class of second graders a lesson on the magnet and what it does.

The next day in a written test, she included this question:

"My full name has six letters. The first one is M. I am strong and attractive. I pick up things. What am I?"

When the test papers were turned in, the teacher was astonished to find that almost 50 percent of the students answered the question with the word "Mother."