Teacher: If you have 10 muffins and your friend asks for 2 of them, how many muffins would you have left?
Teacher: Okay, let me try again. You have 10 muffins. What if your friend takes 2 of your muffins, how many would you have left?
Me: Still 10 muffins... and 1 injured friend.
During basic training, our drill sergeant asked for a show of hands of all Jewish personnel. Six of us raised our hands. Much to our relief, we were given the day off for Rosh Hashanah.
A few days later in anticipation of Yom Kippur, the drill sergeant again asked for all Jewish personnel to ID themselves. This time, every soldier raised his hand.
"Only the personnel who were Jewish last week can be Jewish this week," declared the sergeant.
A detective came up and asked me where I was between 6 and 7...
He seemed annoyed when I said, “second grade."
The topic of the day at Army Airborne School was what you should do if your parachute malfunctions. We had just gotten to the part about reserve parachutes when another student raised his hand.
"If the main parachute malfunctions," he asked, "how long do we have to deploy the reserve?"
Looking the trooper square in the face, the instructor replied, "The rest of your life."