I have discovered the answer to a question that has been puzzling scientists for hundreds of years. What is the exact difference between a split second and a nanosecond?
My girlfriend and I were getting ready to go to a fancy dinner when, right as we were about to leave home, my girlfriend asked me the question all guys dread. She asked, “Does this dress look bad on me?”
If I had said “no” in a nanosecond, we’d have been out the door. However, since I took a split second before responding, she had to go back up to her closet to change, again.
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, he asked her the usual question, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped, "Didn't you get my text?"
“I feel like carp today...”
“Yeah, you look a little fishy.”
Anyone who thinks “talk is cheap”…
Obviously didn’t pay my daughter’s mobile phone bill last month!