A man had trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The neighbor kept saying chickens were noble creatures, and they had the right to go where they wanted. The man had no luck keeping the chickens out of his flower beds. He tried everything.
Two weeks later, a visiting friend noticed the flower beds were doing great! They were blooming and beautiful. So the friend asked, "How did you make your neighbor keep his hens in his own yard?"
"One night I hid half a dozen eggs under a bush by my flower bed, and the next day I let my neighbor see me gather them. I wasn't bothered after that."
Early one morning, one of the gods was galloping around Mount Olympus. Invigorated by the brisk breeze, he shouted euphorically, "I'm Thor!"
His stallion looked back at him and reminded him, "That'th becauthe you forgot the thaddle, thilly!"
If tin whistles are made of tin...
Exactly what are fog horns made out of?
Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?
Juror: I don't want to be away from my job that long.
Judge: Can't they do without you at work?
Juror: Yes, but I don't want them to know it.