Latest Jokes

Another man and I share a locker at work. Noticing that it needed a new combination lock, my partner said he would pick one up on his way to work the next day. It occurred to me later that I might not see him in the morning. How would I find out the combination?

I needn't have worried.

When I arrived at work I found that he had used the locker before me and had left a note reading: "To find the first number subtract 142 from your high score the last time we went bowling. The second number is 16 less than that. To find the third number subtract 1.87 from the amount you owe me."

A tourist was being led through the swamps of Florida.

"Is it true," the tourist asked, "that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?"

"That depends," replied the guide, "on how fast you carry the flashlight."

My wife opened her first checking account and went out purchasing things for the house.

After a couple weeks the bank called her and told her she was out of funds.

In total shock, my wife exclaimed, "How can I be out of money when I've got all these checks left?"