"Stop making a big deal out of it, it's not a big deal."
"Sometimes the smallest things hurt the most."
"Well, you can sit comfortably on a mountain, but you can't on a needle!"
A truck loaded with a thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed on the Interstate yesterday, shedding it's load across the highway.
You should've seen it, witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed!
A little kid goes grocery shopping with his mother. They separate for a short time. Then, being lost, he says, “Martha! Martha!”
Short time later his mother rushes up and hugs him. She says, “Why did you call out Martha, Martha, I am your mother?”
The kid says, “There are a lot of mothers in the store, better chance you’re the only Martha.”
There once was a funeral for a woman who had often screamed at her husband, drove her kids half nuts, scrapped with the neighbors at the slightest opportunity, and even made their cat and dog crazy with her explosive temper.
As the casket was lowered into the grave, a violent thunderstorm broke, and the pastor's benediction was drowned out by a blinding flash of lightning, followed by terrific thunder.
"Well, at least we know she got there all right," commented her husband.