"Hello..."

"Hello?"

"I am John with the C.I.A."

"I know."

"And how do you know that?"

"You called a phone that has no SIM card, no battery, and it's broken."

Conversation between a guy and a salesperson during the new Tesla roadster drive test...

"Excuse me, sir, I see on the specs that the new Tesla roadster comes standard with a defibrillator?"

"Are you ready to hear the price?"

Two college girls looking at their car's flat tire.

"I don't understand?"

"What?"

"How come the bottom part of the tire always gets a flat?"

"Good question!"