The bride was anything but a tidy housekeeper. It didn't bother her much until one evening when her husband called from the hall, somewhat dismayed, "Honey, what happened to the dust on this table? I had a phone number written on it."
What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?
A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two.
Suspecting the worse, she reaches for an extra pillow and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can, letting her anger and frustration out. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?"
I once applied to a medical school but was declined.
The Dean said my handwriting was too legible.