The topic of the day at Army Airborne School was what you should do if your parachute malfunctions. We had just gotten to the part about reserve parachutes when another student raised his hand.
"If the main parachute malfunctions," he asked, "how long do we have to deploy the reserve?"
Looking the trooper square in the face, the instructor replied, "The rest of your life."
"What is your definition of 'Normal'?"
"It's nothing but a setting on your dryer."
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons...
For you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
A new student from France starts his first day in an American school. After class he is given his first assignment to write down 3 things of anything he sees that he likes and then bring it to class and share the next day. As he walks home from school he sees an airplane take off, so he writes down “Take off”.
He then makes his way past a daycare center that had pictures of animals in the windows so he chooses and writes down “Zebra”. Then out of the daycare center walks a mother holding her baby so he writes down “Baby”.
The next day, he is asked to stand in front of the class and read his list. He smoothly says in his French accent, “Take off, zebra, baby!”