Why does the sun rise in the east?
Because it can't rise in the west!
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade…
And then you find somebody whose life has given them vodka!
I love you more than yesterday...
Yesterday you just got on my nerves!
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring...
The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel I've dyed a little inside.