Latest Jokes

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring...

The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel I've dyed a little inside.

I was eating lunch on the 18th of February with my 10-year-old grandson and I asked him, "What day is tomorrow?"

He said, "It's President's Day!"

I asked, "What does President's Day mean?" I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln, etc.

He replied, "President's Day is when the President steps out of the White House. If he sees his shadow we have one more year of unemployment."

"My ancestry goes back all the way to Alexander the Great," said Christine. She then turned to Miriam and asked, "How far back does your family go?"

"I don't know," replied Miriam, "all of our records were lost in the flood."

I went to the doctor the other day. She told me that I needed to get some exercise. So I went to McDonald's.

My wife wanted to know why I went there. I told her the doctor told me to get some extra fries.

She made me an appointment with a hearing doctor.