Latest Jokes

$12.00 won 3 votes

The cost of Halloween Candy is up 13.1% since last year, and to make matters worse, they're giving us less in every package.

For example, Good 'n Plenty is now Not Bad 'N A Couple.

The $100,000 Bar is now the $27 Bite.

Then, of course, there's the new 2 Musketeers bar.

3 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "aod318" |
1 votes

Two robbers steal a goat and two chickens.

They decide to split the loot so one robber says to the other, "You take one chicken, and me and the goat will take the other one."

1 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
posted by "DannyC" |
2 votes
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Two beefy men came to my house to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once they had moved the stove and refrigerator out of the way, it was not long before the job was done.

As they were getting ready to leave, I asked them to put the heavy appliances back in place.

The two men demanded $45 for this service, stating it was not in their contract.

I really had no choice but to pay them.

As soon as they left, however, the doorbell rang. It was the two men. They asked me to move my car, which was blocking their van.

I told them my fee was $45.

2 votes

CATEGORY Work Jokes
posted by "merk" |
$15.00 won 2 votes

The 12-year-old boy stood patiently beside the clock counter while the store clerk waited on all of the adult customers first. Finally he got around to the youngster, who made his purchase and hurried out to the curb, where his father was impatiently waiting in his car.

"What took you so long, son?" he asked.

"The man waited on everybody in the store before me," the boy replied. "But I got even."

"How?"

"I wound and set all the alarm clocks while I was waiting," the youngster explained happily. "It's going to be fun at eight o'clock."

2 votes

Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "merk" |