Latest Jokes
Favorite this joke I was walking through the store, and I kept hearing an annoying kid yelling, “Grandma!"
I was walking past her when he finally found her. He said to her, “Grandma, where were you? You can't just leave me. What if someone kidnapped me?!”
Grandma replied, “I'm sure they'd bring you back pretty soon.”
On a hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions - Use like regular soap.
On some Schwan frozen dinners: Serving suggestion - Defrost.
On packaging for an iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: The product will be hot after heating.
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions - Open the packet. Eat nuts.
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase is necessary. Details inside.
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
A woman walks into a pharmacy one day and says to the pharmacist, “I’d like a poison that’ll kill my husband but make it look like he died of natural causes.”
The pharmacist says, “Ma’am, not only can I not do that for you, I’m going to have to call the police and report you.”
The woman removes something from her pocket and hands it to him. He looks at it and discovers that it’s a picture of her husband making love to the pharmacist’s wife.
The pharmacist says, “Oh, you should have told me you had a prescription.”
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