Latest Jokes

An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending so much of his free time in the local bar, so one night he took her along with him. "What'll you have?" he asked.

"Oh, I don't know. The same as you I suppose," she replied. So, the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and threw his down in one shot.

His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spit it out. "Yuck, that's TERRIBLE!" she spluttered. "I don't know how you can drink this stuff!"

"Well, there you go," cried the husband. "And you think I'm out enjoying myself every night!"

How does a farmer find new cows to buy?

He looks through the cattlelog.

Mr. Benson: "Honey, last night I heard you complaining about me in your sleep."

Mrs. Benson: "Oh, that was just your imagination."

Mr. Benson: "My imagination? How so?"

Mrs. Benson: "That I was asleep."

Why is it that when you go grocery shopping, you can buy a loaf of bread in a plastic bag, a gallon of milk in a plastic bottle, turkey slices in plastic wrap, six apples in a plastic carton, a block of cheese in plastic wrap, and plastic bottles of ketchup and mustard.

But when you go to check out, they won't give you a plastic bag because it's bad for the environment?