Woman 1: How was your date with the tree removal guy?
Woman 2: Awful. I was scared to death!
Woman 1: Why was that? He seemed nice.
Woman 2: He was nice. But he kept wanting to go out on a limb.
"Why are you late Freddie?" asked his teacher angrily.
"Please ma'am, it was late when I started from home."
"Then why didn't you start early?"
"Please, ma'am, it was too late to start early."
The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why women like Chinese food so much.
The study revealed that this is due to the fact that 'Won Ton' spelled backward is 'Not Now'.
Doctor: "Would you have the money if I said you needed an operation?"
Patient: "Would you say I needed an operation if you thought I didn't have the money?"