- Fell out of the family tree.
- Forgot to pay his brain bill.
- Goes surfing in Nebraska.
- Golf bag doesn't have a full set of irons.
- Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't watching.
- He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Mindy: "I think I'm going to divorce my husband. He hasn't spoken to me in days."
Missy: "Are you sure? Men like that are hard to find."
I went to visit a psychic today.
I knocked on the door and she called out, "Who is it?"
So I left.
Every time I get a headache I take 2 Ibuprofen and keep away from my children...
Just like the bottle says.