My sister and I are close, and that allows us to be honest with each other. One evening as I prepared for a date, I remarked, "I'm fat."
"No, you're not," she scolded.
"My hair is awful," I said.
"It's lovely," she encouraged.
"I've never looked worse," I whined.
And she said, "Trust me sis, yes you have."
The teacher asks the class: Where do apples grow?
Smart Samantha answers: On apple trees.
The teacher asks the class: Where do pears grow?
Clever Curtis answers: On pear trees.
The teacher asks the class: Where do dates grow?
The class is silent. Little Johnny raises his hand and says: On calendars?