Latest Jokes

My wife kicked me out because of my awful Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions.

But don’t worry...

I’ll return!

An aging comedian is a guest on a late night talk show.

"What do you have coming up?" the interviewer asks him.

"Mostly phlegm."

A little boy said he wanted a baby brother. His Dad smiled and suggested he pray for one.

The boy prayed earnestly, night after night, but after a couple weeks with no baby brother, he didn't bother to ask anymore.

A few months later Dad said Mom was in the hospital and had a surprise. When they got to the room, the little boy saw Mom holding two babies!

"Well, what do you think about having twin brothers?" Dad asked.

The little boy, in awe, said: "I'm glad I stopped praying when I did!"

Billy: When I grow up I want to explore deep into the Amazon Jungle where no one has ever gone before and I want you to go with me.

Bobby: That sounds scary; you wouldn’t put me in harm's way, right?

Billy: Of course not, I love you like a brother Fredo, I mean Bobby.