How does a squid go into battle?

Well-armed!

Girlfriend: "Am I pretty or ugly?"

Boyfriend: "You're both."

Girlfriend: "What do you mean?"

Boyfriend: "You're pretty ugly."

A policeman is praying at a church when a priest comes to him.

Priest: “Tell me son, who killed Abel?’

Policeman: “I'm sorry Father, but you'll have to ask the detective in charge of this Abel's murder case.”