As Mr. Aging was browsing through an old newspaper, he read aloud to his wife a news item about men losing their memory cells faster than women do.
"It must be true," she said. "That's the second time you've read that article to me."
Mary Jones was debating on the best means of dropping her current flame.
Her friend ask: "Are you worried because you think he'll tell lies about you?"
Mary answered: "I don't mind the lies, but if he ever tells the truth I will break his neck!"
Kid: Did you hear that there is a report of snew tomorrow.
Teacher: What's snew?
Kid: Nothing much, what's snew with you?
Cop: "Seen anything unusual?"
Me: "A dolphin with a hat, once."
Cop: "I mean around here."
Me: "Nah - they live in water."