Customer in a waterfront restaurant: “Waiter, these are very small oysters!”
Waiter: “Yes sir, they are very small.”
Customer: “Also, they do not appear to be very fresh!”
Waiter with a resourceful response: “Then it’s lucky they’re small, ain’t it sir?”
A couple is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes their lost. They spot a man down below and shout, “Excuse me, can you tell me where we are?”
The man below says, “Yes, you’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.”
“You must work in Information Technology,” says the balloonist.
“I do,” replies the man. “How did you know?”
“Everything you have told me is technically correct, and yet it’s of no use to anyone.”
The man below says, “You must work in management.”
“We do. How did you know?”
“Well, you don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help, and you’re in the same position as you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”
When the new activities director for the rec center walked in, all us retirees quickly took notice. She was 20-something and gorgeous. My buddy whispered, “She makes me wish I was 30 years older.”
“Don’t you mean 30 years younger?” I asked.
“No. If I were 30 years younger, I’d still never have a chance with a woman like that. If I were 30 years older, it wouldn’t bother me so much.”