Latest Jokes

One day there was this old man that was walking down the road. About a mile down the road he heard sirens and a police officer was behind him. So he stops and the cop gets out of his car and asked the man why he was walking with one foot on the curb and the man said, " O, thank God I thought I was cripple"

There were three sons who wanted to get their mom a present for her birthday. One son decided that she wanted a bigger house and bought her a mansion. The second son decided that she didn't want to drive by herself so he got her a limo. The third son thought that she was lonely and got her a parrot. The mom gave the first son a thank you saying that she didn't want the house. She gave the second son a letter that said she didn't want the limo. She gave the third son a thank you saying the chicken was good.

A young man was paying an over-night visit to an out-of-town boyhood friend and his wife and young son. When it came time to retire, the young man was told he could sleep in the same bed as his son. After putting on his pajamas and entering the young son's room, he noticed the lad was stooped on the side of the bed with his head bowed. The young man proceeded to do the same thing on his side of the bed, thinking the lad was praying.
"What are you doing?” said the lad.
"The same thing you are", answered the young man.
"Oh, boy"! Said the young lad. "Mommy’s going to' be real mad at you, because the potty is on this side of the bed!"

Q. Why do builders have clear lunch boxes?
A. So they know whether they are going home or going to work!