Latest Jokes

A candidate for city council was doing some door-to-door campaigning, and things were going pretty well, he thought, till he came to the house of a grouchy-looking fellow. After the candidate’s little speech, the fellow said, “Vote for you? Why I’d rather vote for the Devil!”
“I understand,” said the candidate, “but in case your friend is not running, may I count on your support?”

One ant was running across an unopened box of crackers and urging another to speed up. “But why do we have to hurry?” said one. “Can you read, you nut! It says, ‘Tear along the dotted line’”.

One ant was running across an unopened box of crackers and urging another to speed up. “But why do we have to hurry?” said one. “Can you read, you nut! It says, ‘Tear along the dotted line’”.

Matilda and Rosie were chatting one day. Matilda had recently moved to a retirement home. Rosie asked, “Matilda, how do like your new home?”
“Oh, I love it,” answered Matilda. “there’s so much to do, and no burdens of cooking a cleaning.” “I’m not sure I’d like it,” Rosie said. “I understand there are hardly any men at these places.”
“Oh, indeed there are,” said Matilda. “There’s Will Power, and Charlie Horse, and (whispering) you can even go to bed with Arthur It is. And, if you don’t like them, there’s Ben Gay.”