Latest Jokes

At the gates of heaven, a new arrival, George, noted that there were two paths, one marked Women and one marked Men. He took the latter path and found that it lead to two gates.

The gate on the right had a sign that said: "Men who were dominated by their Wives." The gate had a long line of men waiting to go in.

The sign on the left read: "Men who dominated their Wives." There was only a scrawny little fellow at this gate.

George, before deciding which gate to go to, went over to the scrawny man and asked, “Why are you at this gate?”

The little fellow replied, “I don’t know. My wife just told me to stand here.”

To celebrate their fiftieth wedding anniversary, a couple returned to their honeymoon hotel. After retiring to bed, the wife said, “Darling, do you remember how you stroked my hair?” and so he stroked her hair. She reminded him of the way they had cuddled, and so they did. Then, with a sigh, she whispered, “Won’t you nibble my ear again?”
With that, the husband got out of bed and left the room. “Where are you going?” cried the wife.
“To get my teeth,” he said.

A burglar enters a house in the middle of the night. He was interrupted when the owner awoke. Drawing hi gun, the burglar said, “Don’t move or I’ll shoot. I’m hunting for your money.” “Let me turn on the light,” replied the victim, “and I’ll hunt with you”

A teacher sees a lad entering the classroom – his hands were dirty.
She stopped him and said, “John, please wash your hands. My goodness, what would you say if I came into the room with hands like that?”

Smiling the boy replied, “I think I’d be too polite to mention it.”