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Favorite this joke Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: "We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?"
The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: "Isn't there a proverb, something about not marrying in haste? Why are you two in such a hurry?"
Dragging his bride after him, Giorgio rushes out into the street: "We double parked!"
At a campaign stop, a voter told a candidate, "I wouldn't vote for you if you were St. Peter himself!"
"If I were St. Peter," the politician replied, "you wouldn't be in my district."
There can be 100 people in a room...
And 99 won't slap you, but one Will.
A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren.
When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids...."
I have changed my system for labeling homemade freezer meals. I used to carefully note in large clear letters, "Meatloaf" or "Pot Roast" or "Steak and Vegetables or "Chicken and Dumplings" or "Beef Pot Pie."
However, I used to get frustrated when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner because he never asked for any of those things. So, I decided to stock the freezer with what he really likes.
If you look in my freezer now you'll see a whole new set of labels. You'll find dinners with neat little tags that say: "Whatever," "Anything," "I Don't Know," "I Don't Care," "Something Good," or "Food"... no matter what my husband replies, I know I now have it.
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